Monday, April 7, 2008

The Sweet Smell of Success

I think people can easily ramble off a huge list of the attributes of babies that they love. Like I bet you could say, "They're so sweet! And they're so little, and they have wispy hair." Or you could say, "They have such clear, innocent eyes. They coo and love to reach for their toes. They reach out their little arms to be picked up and cuddled." You could say all of that, right? Some people would go on and on about how sweet babies smell. "I can just inhale them." I could say all of that too.

You know what I could never say? "I think my baby needs to smell like citrus and flowers...maybe like some kind of cologne instead of their sweet skin and milky breath. If only there was a product to mask the natural goodness of babies and instead make them smell like Fabreeze or something. Who can help us find this magical product? Who?"

Johnson & Johnson that's who. Look at their product...Baby Cologne!! I am not even joking. Look.

Doesn't this seem like it should be a joke? How exactly did that meeting go at Johnson & Johnson's? "You know Bill, we really could expand our baby care line if we somehow made people think an adult product of some sort was OK for infants." "Hey yeah, Jennifer you're right! Maybe like deoderant? Do you think we could swing that?" "No, I don't think so Bill. Babies don't really sweat like that...babies smell good too don't they? And they have wispy hair..." "Yeah, I like how they smell. God, if only we could bottle that..." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!" "Yes!" In unison they cry out, "BABY COLOGNE!! How great would that be?!" High fives all around!

Ah, the sweet smell of success. Well done Johnson & Johnson. Maybe you could have a whole Spa line. Think how teeny tiny the toe spacers would be for pedicures. Adorable! You could have sweet pastels, or fun primary colors. Maybe some fun graphics. Oh, think where this could all go!


Mama bee said...

Ewwwww! Why on earth would someone use this? And the ingredients...I have no idea what Trideceth-9 is. I am not putting unknown ingredients on my precious little bundle, especially if they're going to make her smell like something other than her sweet self. Yuck.

Laura said...

Agreed, wholeheartedly. And, the thing about ingredients ON the skin is that they quickly become ingredients IN the skin and then into the whole system. That's why there are transdermal patches of various types delivering everything from nicotine to hormones into the system through the skin.

The skin is somewhat permeable. Do you want those ingredients IN your baby? If not, then don't put them ON your baby.

Neo-agrarian said...

Must sterilize everything in this world. You could always just hang one of those car air fresheners around the little tike's neck. Yum. Nothing says love like the sent of pine. ;->

ebehm said...

Did you notice that it says "Keep out of reach of children"? I also appreciate that they added color to it. Why? Now there's a product a baby can use!

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