Thursday, June 19, 2008

Blue Danube, or My Husband Absolutely Cracks Me Up

This year, my husband agreed to attend our homeschooling conference that the kids and I always go to. In the past, I have understood that he didn't want to attend because he really doesn't like crowds and being talked at and he doesn't really care about various educational approaches--he thinks the kids are interested in life and that he and I are doing a fine job with them and he doesn't want to be lectured about anything ever. He also has no strong feelings about homebirth or extended breastfeeding or the family bed or cultured food or raw milk...he never gets up on a soapbox, unlike his wife. So, I was really glad that he wanted to come to the conference and was enthusiastic about it and got a lot out of it.

Towards the end of the two days, we were both punch drunk and feeling very silly. We attended a workshop on multiple intelligences, where we learned there are 9 kinds of intelligence that have been identified, a couple added just fairly recently. My husband was bored out of his mind. Not only that, he thought it was kind of silly to announce that new forms of intelligence had been discovered...weren't they always there? Moreover, do we have to quantify and label everything? The presenter had a monotone delivery and wasn't very enthusiastic about the subject, although obviously knowledgeable about the idea that there are 9 forms of intelligence.

She had given us handouts that outline the characteristics for the various intelligences.

Here, you see some of them listed.

Here are some more.

My husband couldn't take the droning on and on. So, in classic husband form, he started to joke around. First he wrote this on my handout:

To which I responded:
(It's blurry--it says "spaz")

Together, they look like this on my multiple intelligences handout:

Nice, huh? Children, do not ever emulate your parents. You can become much better people than we have become. This is our wish for you.

Besides claiming that he was "...with stupid.", he also created an entirely new area of intelligence:

It's a little blurry, but it says "stacking/building" and the trait is "stacking". He continued with this, explaining how it is manifested:

It says "stacking things".

I was trying to suppress giggles and was equally silly at this point. So, I added another intelligence and wrote under his:
It says, "sarcasm/smart assness" its trait is "find fault: point and laugh". I continued, explaining how it is manifested:

It says, "hilarious in private situations; however a real asshole around others". That sounds harsh but it killed in the moment. In between bouts of incompetently suppressed giggles, I was frustrated with my husband for mercilessly making me laugh.

Really, the conference would have been worth it for this workshop alone. Good times.

I bring all this up only because I was reminded of this when we recently went to our kids' tap dancing recital. Both of our kids are in a tap dancing class with some friends and my friend M. teaches them. They had a giant dance recital last Saturday.

Have you ever been to a dance recital? It goes on and on--this one was three hours. Their performance was maybe at most three minutes. They had just one dance and then spent the rest of the time, before and after, in the green room with some volunteer moms and lots of other kids.

I will tell you that they did beautifully--they sounded crisp and in step with one another and really fearlessly danced for the crowd with a lot of energy. They were great and so were all of the other dancers of different ages and dance styles in the other performances.

At one point, a bevy of blue beauties came out in filmy ballet attire and they started to dance to a classical piece. They started to dance to "Blue Danube" by Johann Strauss II. They were lovely...but, my husband was again tired and punch drunk. So he crudely formed a spaceship out of his fingers and veeery slooowly lifted it up from his lap arcing over to mine as if it were floating in space. And then I got it--2001: A Space Odyssey.

My husband cracks me up.

Enjoy this youtube and try to picture teenage girls dancing ballet to the music and my husband floating a spaceship over to me with his hand.

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