It's Earth Day! Normally this holiday gets me mad. I think it's a time for people to try and do a couple of things, and then forget about the earth the next day--it seems far more symbolic than real to me. On the other hand, maybe it gets people thinking. That's always a good thing.
Food, Inc. was on PBS last night and I watched it. Wow. If you don't already buy any food directly from a farmer, look around to see if it's possible in your area. The more people who are both buying real, untainted food (no GMOs or pesticides or herbicides or synthetic fertilizers), and supporting small family farms or CSAs (Consumer Supported Agricuture--co-ops of a sort) the more the corporate hold of our food supply starts to crumble a little. That's also always a good thing.
To celebrate today, I am going to go out and buy the latest and best of all of the Green products I can find!
No, I'm not. Joking!!
People keep forgetting, "Reduce, Reuse and Recycle" We mostly have a hold on the recycle bit, but reusing things (hand me downs, garage sale and thrift store finds), and reducing in the first place seems to elude a lot of us.
If you need to replace something, see if you can get it used. If you can't then buy green. Buying green to replace perfectly usable things you have doesn't really help anyone or anything--except the Green manufacturers. That's OK except stuff still ends up in the landfills, doesn't it?
Go do something gentle for the earth today--even if it's as small a gesture as not buying something. Just skip it. You'll be OK, really.
Then, think about doing something tomorrow, and maybe all week. If you survive that, try it for a month. You may surprise yourself at your ability to forego stuff you don't need any way.
Try it and see how strong you are. You are woman!! (Or man, depending...)
I just spent a ridiculously long time cleaning out my sock drawer in my dresser. Waaaay in the back I came across 6 unopened packages of white pantyhose.
Why?
How?
When??
I am boggled.
Somewhere out there there may be some need for a pair of white pantyhose and so the good folks at Goodwill or The Salvation Army will receive all of them as part of a donation.
In the meantime, I am left wondering how there was such a white pantyhose black hole in the back of my drawer.
Hello cyber friends! Hello internet folks! Hello pixel readers! How are you?
I said I wasn't going to post here much because of the homeschooling conference work I'm doing. It is now ramping up with database entry and hounding workshop presenters to return contracts and working out all of the details. And, you know what? I really, really hate that kind of work. I do! There is no joy in this. It's not exciting figuring out what workshops there could be for the kids at the conference. It just feels like a lot of work and responsibility and pressure.
I do not like that. Plus, I can't procrastinate like I would like--there's a deadline! I can't really wait until the last minute to have someone just sort of wing it. No. This is a well thought out, well planned, well executed endeavor that I somehow am involved in. Yikes...
Have we been buying new things while I've been away from the blog? Sort of a mice will play while the cat's away thing? Me, not accountable to you compact watchers? NO! HA! We have not bought new things--well, not much any way.
My daughter said she would like new clothes. Not the nice ones I'm able to find her from Goodwill or The Salvation Army, but honest to goodness, brand new, fresh from the giant container shipped over from China clothes from Target. So, you know what I did? I got her some nice, cute clothes from Target and she was happy. Also, although I was able to avoid it for many years, I got her some American Doll stuff for her birthday. She already had a hand-me-down doll from one of her cousins and she wanted some outfits for her.
Here is my thinking. The Compact was all my idea. The kids willingly agreed to it two years ago at the tender ages of 9 and 7. They have been very thoughtful and understanding about things and wanting things and the value of things and the need vs. want of things. So, when they've really wanted something, I have seen how they value it and have gotten it for them.
We're not going for monastic here. We're going for relevance and self control and to try and avoid choices that are dictated by popular culture or peer pressure.
My kids still (still!!) have fun with a cardboard box. They have fun with sticks in the yard. They have fun with leaves and bugs and tape and yarn and cool new clothes from American Girl for my daughter's doll.
You know what else? If my daughter wants to play with dolls at the age of 9, I'm going to support that for as long as it lasts. If my son is happy making faces and noises and playing tag and hide-and-go-seek at the age of 11, I'm going to also support that for as long as it lasts. These are my little kids who are behaving like little kids.
Yes, they have occasionally mentioned other things. My daughter, out of the blue and with all seriousness and some contempt, asked my why couldn't she have an i-pod?! Hmm? Why?! (Her 12 year old friend had just gotten one). My son has asked when both kids will get a cell phone... Um, that would probably be a "never" from me, but who knows what the future holds? My husband doesn't even have one. Partly it's because he doesn't need one, and party it's because that would presuppose that he would want to talk to people more, and on the phone.
My husband once pointed out to me the silliness and ridiculousness of my sister and I talking on the phone when we were only one room away from each other at a hotel. It didn't seem silly at the time. My son has also jumped on the point-out-ludicrous-things-when-you-see-them band wagon. He asked me why I gesture wildly with my hands when I'm on the phone...
What's your point son?! And, what's it to ya?!
We also bought a new car! Whoooo! A new, used car that is. It's only three years old and has four doors--decadent! Our old car was fourteen years old, had two doors and was on its last legs. We held out and didn't make any little repairs on it because we didn't want to put any more money into it knowing that we would soon buy another car. So:
The cloth ceiling liner shredded and my husband just took it out so we had a metal ceiling
The air conditioner was out
The emergency brake didn't work--how often does that come up, really?
The driver side door handle had come off and the only way to open it was by lifting one of the two nubs (automatic theft deterrence)
The driver seat was ripping
My tall 5' 10" body could barely fold into the passenger seat and I was unbelievably cramped and uncomfortable for long rides
Our new car has four doors! Great gas mileage (30, 34)! Room to easily hold a canoe on top! Air conditioning! Is only three years old and will accommodate our growing kids and a friend in the back.
We got a Scion xb. Aren't we cool? We are so inherently cool that we can drive a boxy, unstylish car with impunity.
Here is our cool car, 'cause that's how we roll.
Yeah, that's right. So cool, it's exponential cool and the sum is greater than the parts. It all adds up.
Enjoy your weekend and enjoy your ride, whatever that might be!
I started this blog as a challenge for my family and myself to see if we could live in a simple way and not buy new things. I thought it would be interesting to see if we could live through the limits that The Compact would impose on us. I wondered what we would discover about ourselves and about our neighbors and the typical consumer lifestyle that we are all pressured to live. Would we be able to live a year without buying any things that are new? Would the kids feel out of step with other kids? Would I pine for anything? Would I chafe under the restriction?
My husband makes a good living *knocks on wood* and we have always lived fairly simply, but if I wanted to get a little something from Williams Sonoma I could have. If I felt like getting a Hanna Andersson outfit for my daughter, that was no problem. I ended up not doing that very much, because I ended up not buying very much for any of us, even before The Compact. It was an easy switch to make to just buying used things from Goodwill or the Salvation Army and we found lots of nice, gently used things from Eddie Bauer (for me), and The Gap and every other place I used to shop when the kids were little and I wasn't a bit concerned with them outgrowing their clothing in a 2 month time... That was a little frivolous of me, but the clothes were very cute and 100% cotton. I felt that was important for tender new skin.
I found all sorts of decent clothing that was perfectly good. It didn't matter to my kids, or me or my husband either, if things were a certain brand. The Compact would have been far more difficult if that had been the case, or if we had cared if things were part of a current trend. Trendy, we are not.
So The Compact has continued to be a part of our lifestyle. We have purchased new things and then I have confessed to you all right here on this blog. We've gotten a water heater and a manual lawn mower and shoelaces and goldfish and leotards and props for performances and new toys for the kids at museums and gifts for them at X-mas and at birthdays. We've gotten used things too, but we have not been pure, just very conscious about our purchases. We haven't really been frivolous.
I started this blog as a way of tracking our lifestyle and seeing how we progressed and then realized that if we weren't purchasing new things, I could show you what we were doing instead. If you don't buy it, what in the world do you do? For many people buying is a form of entertainment or even sport--the challenge of finding and then getting the great deal. On one of my April Fool's Day posts I put up a Google AdSense banner and explained that we would now be carrying ads. I wrote:
See the ads over there, at the top of my blog? They pay me to run them here. That's a good thing. Why wouldn't I want to make money here? What would be the possible point of making all of these posts? Really, I don't get it. People only do things for money. That's what makes the world go round. Why would I sit here writing things for no reason? If I'm not getting paid, what's the reason then? I'm not tracking on that, really.
That was a joke. I write here because I feel strongly about many issues and want to share what I know. I write here because I like to write and hope to share something good with others: political outrage, unschooling joy, ways to be healthy with raw milk, kefir, the seminal book Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, my hilarious husband... My secret ambition is to be a paid writer somewhere, somehow. It would be ideal if it was on my terms wouldn't it?
I feel like when I grow up, this is what I'll do as an adult. And then I realize that I am grown up and I am a writer, of sorts. So, why not now? What the heck am I waiting for? As my father quoted Hillel to me when I was an emotional teenager, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" Sage words there.
So you know what? I am going to continue to write here and get money for my writing from having ads!! What?! "But, Laura, what about your whole 'We don't buy it. We're living on The Compact. We think new things are bad. We are holy and pure and think serious thoughts all of the time...' What about that stuff?!" you argue indignantly with me. Ah. I see your confusion and concern. Seems a little hypocritical doesn't it? Well, you are wrong! Wrong I tell you!! Because you know why? I'm going to have ads for stuff I believe in. Ha!
Food. Whole nutritious food! You have to eat, even on The Compact. I am a huge fan of kefir and kombucha, and yogurt, sourdough starter and dried foods that retain their enzymes and... and... and all of the stuff that Cultures for Health sells. So guess what. I am now an affiliate of their site and every sale that they make, linked from here at We Don't Buy It, I get paid for. Hurray!
I will now have some ads here. Also, I may have product giveaways. Have you ever wanted to try and make yogurt, or kefir, or sourdough bread? It can seem like a lot of work and it can seem overwhelming, but it's not if you have easy starters and quality ingredients. Maybe you'd like to try one out. Maybe you'll win a contest and get some for free and then you can.
I will review products too. I'll let you know what I think. (Yeah, that's a new one, because I've always been shy about sharing my opinions, haven't I?) *snort*
I am selling out sort of. But, as it turns out, not really.
We are still mostly not buying it, that is to say, we are still trying to live with The Compact. As I have said before, we mostly still do. We mostly do not buy anything new. My husband buys lumber or screws and nails if he needs them. But, overall, we haven't and still don't buy new things. Which is not to say that we don't buy anything.
Today, for example, I went to our nifty new Salvation Army store and bought the kids a ginormous pile of clothes. They will now have t-shirts and shorts and my daughter will have dresses and both will have jeans without rips in the knees although that is a cool look, I will acknowledge.
I never achieved that look throughout my entire childhood. Firstly, I was in Sears Toughskins... those are not Levi's and you can't achieve any kind of cool look with those no matter how hard you try.
At the time, I had my own idea of what cool looked like so that was OK. I had chipped my front two teeth and had to wear silver caps for a year and a half in first and second grades and I knew, positively knew that I was cool because I could pretend to be Lindsay Wagner in The Bionic Woman. I was the bionic woman with my silver caps. I could cock my head to the side and have my super sonic hearing detect bad guys a mile away, the sun glinting off my silver caps. How much cooler could anyone get? So, Toughskins didn't matter then.
Later on in about 5th grade or so, I desperately wanted to have jeans that had rips in the knees. I finally got Levi's (this was before the Gloria Vanderbilt or Chic madness--that came later), but I was growing so quickly that my jeans never got worn through in the knees. They did become floods almost immediately, however.
It was only as an adult that I finally understood the taunt: "Hey Laura! Can you swim?" and then there would be uproarious laughter. "Of course I can swim!!", I'd angrily retort. Well, kids were asking me that because I was wearing floods--get it? Ah. I see. I think I was an easy target in a lot of ways. I don't think I got the nuanced communication that occurs on the playground.
Any way, today I got all sorts of clothes for the kids. Just as I didn't, my kids don't really understand "cool" either except through their own filters. They have very little brand recognition. They have some, but they're more likely to think something is cool because of its color or what its made of, than because it's part of a giant merchandising juggernaut like Hannah Montana or Disney or even Abercrombie and Fitch.
My kids don't really have a uniform. They don't know they must wear this or that to be cool. They know they are cool because my son can do a headstand for minutes on end and my daughter can adopt a spot on English accent.
It's not The Bionic Woman, but what could be cooler than that these days?
After one of the kids' classes the other day, we went down the hall where there are a couple of resale shops. We bought:
A Folkmanis animal puppet
A 6 ft. stuffed snake
A heavily lidded purplish stuffed lizard of some sort
A small stuffed mallard that talks in triple quacks
A large stuffed mallard that doesn't talk
A very huggable stuffed raccoon with Velcro hands so he can tightly hold onto your hand
A small lamp to decorate
A small copper pot with lid that someone can use to make a bechamel sauce or pâte à choux
$24.08 total.
I hope there are other kids that still play with stuffed toys the way my kids do. They're missing out, if they don't. This particular group of stuffed toys came home with my son and daughter and blankets and pillows were thrown to the floor to become water and grassland and nests and there were extensive scenarios that were played out all the rest of the afternoon.
At some point, I'll get on the pâte à choux and maybe I'll make gougères or cream puffs or chocolate eclaires. Vive la $10 copper pot...
I'm getting more and more nervous as I'm trying to get us all ready for our trip to...Mexico!! My Mother-in-law has invited all of the family on my husband's side to go down with her to Cancun. Who are we to refuse such an offer? I might be buying new things down there--we'll see. As it is, in getting ready for the trip, I got a sheer, flowey blouse--great with a skirt or shorts--a kicky colorful printed skirt, a simple cotton brown wrap dress all from Goodwill. I felt very lucky to find things that will work, and they will work! I had to get a pair of sandals as my leather strappy sandals that I did have finally broke and I think that with the cost of the repair, it would make more sense to buy a new pair. So, I did.
I had those sandals for at least 20 years. I bought them from J. Crew back when I bought things from J. Crew and they were very well made and lasted me for all of those years. They were a classic hippy design that didn't go out of style in that it was so not trendy it could be classic. My look.
The area we're going to is not far from Mayan ruins--the kids are getting very excited. We're going to go there, we're going to explore the jungle, we're going to hang out on the beach for days. It will be extraordinarily decadent and exactly the kind of place that I find appalling. We'll be staying at a resort area full of demanding Americans who can't speak a lick of Spanish, lo siento. And where we will be, there is no "there" there. We will be surrounded by other resorts and no towns or locals or museums or interesting street life. We will be segregated from reality.
It will be a wonderful time with our relatives and we will all have fun in the sun and climbing the ruins and exploring the jungle. I love my mother-in-law for being so generous in this. So, that's what I'm going to think about and enjoy while we're there. I won't think about the incredible waste and arrogance of going to another country and then setting yourself up in a compound separated from the very people who inhabit the country you've gone to visit; especially a country where there is so much poverty and corruption.
Lolling on the beach for days is good. Playing with my kids in the pools is good. Visiting with relatives is good. Decadent ugly American behavior is bad, and embarrassing.
When I get back from our trip, I'll see how my kefir grains are gowing and I'll start sending them out to people who've requested them. Tamsen, I got your info--thanks.
I've got a new-to-me/hand-me-down camera for Christmas and I'll take lots of pictures while I'm there. I've already taken a few pictures here around the house, but I need a new cord to get them onto the computer. When I get a used cord from somewhere, I'll get more photos on here.
It occurs to me that some of you may be newly starting out on a journey of not buying--as my family did a year ago. You've decided to simplify your life. Or, your fed up with your values and want to live more seriously. Maybe you're sick of the mounds and streams of garbage our society spews out so, you've decided to join The Compact. You can do it. Here are some handy dandy not buying new tips.
Firstly, remember that it is not a punishment to not buy new things. Don't feel regret over things. You will feel lighter soon, really.
Even though you may be able to buy a huge amount of less expensive things at thrift shops, still only buy what you need and what will serve you. Just because it's cheap, doesn't mean you should get it. Go ahead and pass it up--keep walking.
Only get things that you would get if you were paying a much higher price for them. Would you really get the giant Elmo ceramic candy dish if you were at Macy's, or is it speaking to you because it's .75?
Do anticipate future needs. Is there a wedding coming up in half a year? Start looking for clothing now. Might your son have need for a suit at some point? Go ahead and get the $6.00 suit right now.
Look carefully at the clothing. Sometimes you can get nicely made things but check for pulled threads, bare spots, broken zippers etc. If there's a changing room, go ahead and try it on. You can usually return things, but sometimes not, and you don't have to be stuck with something that's not going to work for you just because it's cheap.
Get yourself off of catalog mailing lists. In the meantime, just put them directly into the recycling bin--do not look at them. It might be torture, and why do that to yourself?
On a related note, while watching TV, skip the commercials. Ignore them. Don't let them into your life.
Start thinking about the things you like that you don't have to buy--walks in the woods, playing a game with your kids, a manicure or pedicure that you can give yourself, reading books, cooking up a wicked pot of chili. There are lots of things already in your life that give it huge meaning, value and enjoyment. Remember them and do them more.
Many people shop as sport so you may have to replace that kind of excitement with other things. Go somewhere that's free--a museum, or art gallery, a library, community center or a downtown where you can walk and people watch. Get out there and spend time soaking it all up rather than spending it all.
Don't buy magazines that tell you you must have certain things or look a certain way. That can easily eliminate a whole grouping of magazines. Stay away from any photoshopped images. Again, you have to buy to try and emulate those looks--discover your own look and feel comfortable with yourself.
Put aside the money saved and buy a class, a night at the theater, an expensive dinner out, a sizable donation to an organization that could use your help. When you stop buying new things, as a rule, you will have more money and you can use that for quality purchases that are Compact compatible.
Join yahoo groups or other kinds of groups where the people get what you're doing. It's not freakish to decide to not buy new things, but it is different and many people feel threatened when you try to do something that departs from the norm. Surround yourself with like minded people.
Get on a freecycle group or a freecycle like group and see if there's anything you'd like--you can get good things for free that would otherwise go to a landfill. You can give things away to people who really want them and will use them. You don't have to buy new to get good stuff that you need.
Take an inventory of all that you already have and start getting rid of the things that don't serve you any more. You can freecycle it or give it to Goodwill or sell it on CraigsList or e-bay. Let go of the things that clutter up your life.
If you goof up, you go out and buy that purse you just really can't live without, forgive yourself and get back to The Compact. It was just a slip up. You're not a bad person. You can get back to your stated goal: Not Buying New Things. It's OK.
Once you start this as a lifestyle, it's easy to continue. Once you no longer define yourself by your things, the things hold so much less sway over your life. They are objects that may be useful in your life, but don't necessarily add value to your life. The value is in your connections with others and the discoveries you can make about the world and yourself. That is so rich. That is abundant. That is a full life.
If you are deciding to not buy new, share your story here. What are you discovering? What is difficult? What is easier than you thought it would be? How do you feel now? What are your questions?
Welcome to the world of: less things, rescued things, only necessary things and everything other than things.
Well I haven't done anything activist like today--just lived my life with my husband and kids here. Sometimes that feels like a radical act, but still.
I did, however, make it to the post office where I was able to hand off a couple of boxes to a postal worker and avoid the absolutely ginormous line snaking out into the lobby. Afterward, my daughter and I headed over to Goodwill where I got her some kicky jeans and a couple of belts and a kicky skirt and dress for me. All was kicky and dare I say sassy as well. That's not always easy to pull off, and yet we did...
You know what else is not easy to pull off? A knitting project that I've messed up and so have left literally languishing in the corner of my dining room with the rest of my yarn stash for over a year. I had convinced myself that it was unapproachable. Then, I returned to it to see what's up and realized the goof was easily fixed because I've become a good enough knitter to read the yarn and see my mistake and know how to correct it. Sorry, daughter, on the year wait for your sweater. Good thing I was knitting it huge to begin with--you won't outgrow this thing until adulthood. Not exactly a tailored piece I'm crafting here.
So, I feel obligated to my daughter to try and finish up this sweater and concentrate on that for a few days. Also, my son is wanting me to knit him a cool ski mask so I have to get on that soon as well.
All this to say that I've not had a political, environmental, or otherwise expansive thought in my head all day. Plus, I made coconut macaroons--also, not a serious subject. Although, these are to die for.
No bitching here, but no activism today either. We didn't buy any new things today so it is all still fitting and appropriate.
This is me today:
Heavy on the sewing circle (for me knitting), light on the terrorist (I prefer to view that as active citizen).
Go ahead, guess. No, it's not eggs. Nope. Not oatmeal either--we had that the other day. No, they are sitting in front of the TV watching Animalia and eating...chocolate ice cream!
Have I lost my mind? No. I haven't.
First, I got out the peanut butter dip that I had made the other day and had them dip apple sections in. When they were done with that, I gave them each a small bowl of homemade chocolate ice cream.
We made the ice cream a couple of nights ago and it is filled with co-op farmer goodness. Well, not that it's filled with farmer--just the goodness they provide.
Here's the recipe:
Chocolate Ice Cream
3 egg yolks 1/4 cup cocoa 1 Tbsp. vanilla 2 cups raw cream 1 cup raw milk a giant slosh of maple syrup (maybe 1/4 cup or more)
Note: Usually, I use raw honey in this recipe, but the honey has crystallized and I didn't feel like slowly melting it in a water bath. Maple syrup works well in its place and is full of manganese and zinc too.
Whiskeverything together and make according to the ice cream maker's directions.
I must report that I've seen TONS of ice cream makers at Goodwill. You can have a fun addition to your diet and easily get the tools you need from a thrift store, or as always, on E-bay, or Craig's List.
This is a delicious, smooth ice cream. It has the raw ingredients that supply loads of enzymes. It has unpasteurized raw milk and raw cream which also supplies Vitamin C as well as easily assimilated minerals. The cocoa has anti-oxidants and the egg yolks supply an additional bit of protein.
It may look like goopy sweet junk food, slowly melting in the bowl, but in fact it is a fabulous boost of healthy nutrition for my kids. Plus, they get the treat of eating ice cream in the morning! How decadent can you be?!
The peanut butter dip is great too. Is that too boastful for me to say that? Well, it is great though!
Peanut Butter Dip
Giant glop of peanut butter--maybe a 1/4 cup or so 1 tsp. vanilla 1 Tbsp. raw honey, or to taste 1 Tbsp raw milk, or enough to make a smooth, easily dipable consistency
Use as a dip for apples, grapes, celery (not that my kids would, but yours might). It tastes very close to caramel apples when you dip the apple in.
You can also fill whole grain pitas with the peanut butter goop. Or, you can spread it on whole grain English Muffins, or bagels.
It is nice to have on hand in the fridge.
The peanut butter supplies protein and the raw honey gives a boost of Vitamin B and is anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal. Any time I can sweeten with raw honey, I do.
I am just sitting here having coffee. I better go get something to eat too. Hmmm. What will I go get?
We are impure. We are full of purchases that besmirch our good name in the Compact.
After receiving a FREE three month membership to the YMCA from a friend in our homeschooling group who can not use it, my husband realized that the tennis shoes he had bought earlier in the Summer at Goodwill (pure) were not enough support for running around the track. So, he looked up online what kind of shoe would be best for him and found a pair at Sport's Authority, or Dick's or somewhere like that.
If you've bought running shoes, you know that that was not an inexpensive purchase. And besides that they were NEW! Yet, how would my husband find something that would feel comfortable on his feet if he did not get a new pair of shoes? On the other hand, how do impoverished children in parts of Africa and Asia and South America run around barefoot all of the time? How did pioneer kids like Mary and Laura Ingalls go barefoot? Maybe because they're kids? And, they don't have a choice...Yeah, but what about the marathon runners from Kenya that train in barefeet and then come to Boston or Chicago and kick butt in running shoes? They're adults. How does that work? Well, maybe the fact that they're marathon runners and are already fit and so don't have as much bulk as my husband does allows them to pound their feet for 26 point whatever it is miles without special Nike or New Balance shoes made just for running back at home.
My husband decided it was OK to get new running shoes. He probably can't get away with running barefoot. Although, if you go to that link, you will learn that running barefoot would probably be the best thing. Being barefoot all of the time, would probably be the most healthy for all of us. Hello Barefooters! We have been going to the Y a lot and see it as part of our good health and fun for the kids and good for our mental health as a family. My husband's feet were hurting in the Goodwill shoes and now they don't. He needed cushy shoes. So be it.
Thankfully, we do have the money to buy things when we need them. The point of the Compact is to challenge ourselves to see if what we want is first of all what we need--it mostly never is--and to see if we can find it used somewhere--we mostly can. Shoes are tricky and we have decided that if we need to get them new, we can. Underwear, bras, shoes, bedding, all of those we can get new if we want to.
Our Compact is not about being austere and monastic. It's not even about being frugal, even though that is a direct result of not buying new. It's about really seeing how we interact with things. How much stuff do we need? Must we get more stuff?
Another confession: for my son's birthday party, we bought the kids some fun plastic flying bats and a set of googly eyes that go on the hand to make a creature for party favors. New stuff there. New, plastic stuff there. New, plastic, made in China polluting at every step of the manufacturing/shipping/packaging/getting-rid-of process stuff there. Actually, I'm sure they will not be thrown out when they're done being played with. They'll be donated to Goodwill, or freecycled or something like that. Our friends don't throw things out like that. These are kids who will appreciate such things. They like being silly together and pretending, even though they are all getting older. I like to support their innocence and creativity. Googly eyes are perfect for that, even ones made in China and that may decompose in about 1,000 years.
There are a couple of other things that we purchased that I don't remember now, but they seemed necessary at the time.
We've been doing pretty darn well on our little life experiment here of not purchasing any new things. Really, we have. We have kept to our compact mostly. But, at the Legoland Discovery Center the other day, I let the kids buy themselves some lego--some sort of Star Wars vehicle (my son tells me it's clone wars related...whatever that means exactly), and my daughter got a fire engine and an ambulance--a rescue vehicles theme there for her.
When we went camping last week--and when I say camping, I kind of mean that in the loosest sense possible in that we were at the tiniest state park in existence and on the other side of a creek surrounding the campsite were condos and houses who seemed to think that their lights should be on all night in their back yards that sent glowing streaks through the trees into our campsite...it was kind of a dud experience...and it rained...and we never took our canoe off of our car...and we only stayed one day...my kids said that they loved camping and my husband said that yeah, we ought to try that some time--my husband had to buy new nylon rope for the tarp. So we had that purchase too.
I've bought some "educational" things, but those are not a part of the compact--that's my kids' education and I can buy new if I want to. Although, my son busts me on that saying that they don't need the new maps I got them (oh yes they do because they're accurate), or the Shakespeare books--we could have gotten them used somewhere or checked books out of the library. Yes, well, I know that, but that is only a reflection of his literal, black/white thinking. There are shades of grey, son, hopefully you'll learn that soon.
I've not bought any new yarn this whole time, but I've also not found a sweater to unravel and use the yarn for knitting something else. My husband has bought lumber to make things, to frame out the windows in the kids' fort and make the little dutch door. We changed our phone company and got a new cell phone as part of the deal. We have not been pure.
Have we purchased new clothes? No, except for the kids performances in various dance/acting groups they're involved in. I have not purchased new clothing other than underwear and socks for anyone in this family in 8 months since we started the compact in January. Have we bought any CDs or DVDs or Books or Magazines? No. We have bought things from Goodwill and some of them seemed to be new--but they were at Goodwill, so not part of the usual commerce flow. Any new electronics? No. Any new beautiful things for my hair? No. No new jewelry, no new perfume, no new decorative items for the house. No. No. No.
This isn't too far from how we used to live. We were never huge consumers. This is not a difficult lifestyle--we are free of feeling any kind of pressure or gnawing desire to get and acquire and upgrade and consume. That feels pretty good. We don't need it, we're not going to buy it, it just doesn't come into play around here at all.
But, by God, my kids did need their lego and my husband did need his rope and lumber and we were given the new phone and I needed the kids to see the real relative sizes of the different places of the world and so I needed to get those maps. Because truth does matter, and that's why I'm confessing all of this to you.
We find that it's not too difficult to forgo purchasing new things. It's not, at least not for most things. But, we have purchased a couple of new things recently. I confess.
After the hey-we're-all-in-this-together celebratory 4th of July bike helmet rip off, I had to get a new helmet and I did--it's grey and willow. Willow is a lovely green, isn't it? I can go biking with the kids again. Well, now I can go with a helmet on and exhibit a good example of safety consciousness for them. Husband... When they're ready, I'm ready.
Yesterday, a giant box was on the front step. Finally, my husband's Father's Day gift arrived. A reel mower. We do already have a gas powered mower, yes, but my husband wanted to stop wasting gas to cut a lawn we really don't have much affection for, and felt he could enjoy the mechanical/manual nature of a reel mower.
I bought it new...I didn't even look for one online. We haven't done that much. This computer I'm typing this post at was bought from Craig's List as a Christmas gift for me by my husband. All of our drinking glasses are from Goodwill. The kids clothes are from e-bay or Goodwill. My clothes are from Goodwill. We've been diligent.
But, I wanted a brand new mower for my husband and I wanted it now, damn it! I didn't know which one to get him. So, I harangued him, and harangued him, and he looked up from what he was reading and said, "Huh?" My haranguing skills aren't up to snuff, clearly. I can't tell you how often I feel like Charlie Brown's indistinct, muffled teacher speaking around here. If you can hear me talking, but you don't know what I said, you have to say to me, "What did you say Mom?" or "What did you say beautiful wife of mine?" Why don't they get that?!
We went online just last week to pick out the mower and get it from a company in Indiana. Fantastic! We would be supporting an American company from just next door--not a big carbon footprint on our carbon reducing manual reel mower. It's already green and we haven't even used it yet!
I don't like to shop. I don't like going in stores. I don't like the hunt. I don't like getting caught up in fashion and feeling compelled to keep up.
I want my kids to have simple, cotton clothing uncluttered with ads for the Gap, or Old Navy or anything else. I don't like cartoon characters all over kids' clothing. I don't like words like "Princess" or sayings like "I didn't do it..." or anything like that in glittery printing on the front of a shirt. I don't want my kids to be walking billboards or to look smart-assy or to look smarmy.
Having said all of that, it is with that set of sensibilities that has always drawn me to Hanna Andersson to buy a few things for my daughter. It is very expensive clothing, but it wears well and is simple and innocent without being cutesy poo and saccharine.
I've discovered that it's been difficult to find clothes for my kids at thrift stores. I don't like to shop and that's what you have to do at Goodwill. You have to really hunt for simple, clean, cotton clothing. The other day I was struck with the realization that I could shop at ebay and get my daughter used items from Hanna Andersson and I wouldn't have to drag the kids out to a store to paw through racks and racks of clothes!
I've never bought from ebay. It's new to me to sit here and surf through items and put in bids. I've kind of gotten caught up in seeing these great deals for my daughter and being fed up with things I'm finding in thrift shops.
So do you think it's a good thing, or a bad one, that I'm currently winning 17 bids?
You know what we did yesterday? We didn't buy anything new. You know what we did the day before that? We didn't buy anything new. Want to guess what we did the day before that, and even the day before that? Yep. That's right. No new stuff buying.
This isn't even difficult in the least. I thought it might be more so. I had thought that maybe the kids would feel burdened by our compact. I thought I would maybe see something and feel deep regret that I wouldn't be able to purchase it. But, no. This is easy. It really is.
We have chosen this lifestyle as a challenge for the next year. We willingly decided to forgo new purchases and to find creative ways to get whatever we need through out the year. As the year progresses, we're finding it easier and easier to naturally think in the ways that living like this necessitates you do. We have to anticipate a little bit more. We have to look a little bit more.
Some of the good feelings derived by all of this self denial come in realizing that we don't have to be enslaved by our possessions or the pursuit of having more. It's freeing, if its chosen. We have chosen this. We also know that at the end of the year, if we'd like to go get something new, we easily can. We don't feel deprived.
When I have gone to thrift shops, I have noticed people who it seems are not there by choice. They are there because that's the only way they'll ever get anything. They are poor and need to shop there. They can't get their daughters kicky little striped outfits from Hannah Anderson, or an i-phone, or whatever the "in" thing is even if they wanted to. Their purchasing used things is not a fun life challenge that will help them realize the overwhelming consumer ethos that encompasses this country. It's not to evade any kind of external pressure to buy, buy,buy!! It's because the only way they're going to get clothes on their backs and on their children's backs, is if they shop at Goodwill. That's not a free choice there. It's not bad--not being able to get anything at goodwill would be bad...But, for people who have nothing but used, slightly broken down, worn around the edges stuff, I can see how that could be dulling in this country of new, new, new, get, get, get. The pressures to be "in" are huge around here. You know what I'm going to do later today? Not buy anything. You know what I'm going to do tomorrow? Not buy anything. You know what I'm going to do at any upcoming homeschooling conferences? Buy stuff! Ha! Fooled you!! You thought I wasn't, but I am.
Our homeschooling group is very active and we try to have a few holiday parties scattered throughout the year. Recently, we had a Valentine's Day Party. E., a friend of mine, agreed with A., another friend of mine, that they both like my blog. Thanks guys! I'm glad that you do. E. made the point that I'm not always on topic here. I have plenty of posts that don't have anything to do with not buying anything new. In fact, I realize that I have whole categories, don't I? Overseas Visitors. Politics. Polls. Nature. Internet. Vitamin C. Somehow in my mind it's all interrelated. It's all the positive correlate to NOT buying anything new. It is all the stuff that we DO do. If we don't buy it, then what do we do?
We go into the city to the museum of Science and Industry with Mom and Dad and Dad shows us stuff.
We see a DNA strand on the floor in front of the genetics section and realize it looks just like the macrame bracelets that we make!
We go to the new Goodwill Store and eagerly await its opening!
And then it does open, and we do go and we check out everything and even get a cute dress for $4! If we wanted a computer monitor, we could get one for $4.99!
We could get a stair climber! Or shoes! Or clothes! Or even a book--check it out kids!! We photograph the trees covered with beautiful snow. We go to a snow sculpting competition while Mom is home sick and we see a great dog. And, we see snow sculptures: Pretty good, aren't they?
Doesn't this giant penguin remind you of the Monty Python penguin on the telly? It's just there. What's it DOING there? Standing! I can SEE that!! My kids don't know about that yet, but Husband and I think it's pretty funny.
We go to a Chinese New Year celebration at a local community college. We wait for the festivities to start by practicing some trick photography...I mean, we magically shrink my daughter and my son photographs the result. Yeah that's it. See how easily she can stand on my hand?
My son was also able to get the Queen's guards at Buckingham Palace to all line up and stand on his finger!! That kid is magical, I tell you! He must only use his power for good...
We saw dancing, twirling, whooshing lions!
We play in the snow in our driveway.
We go sledding with the homeschooling group, and Dad meets us during his lunch and climbs the GIANT mountain of snow that has been plowed into a big pile!
We go to the homeschooling Valentine's Day party where we exchange homemade valentines and my daughter wears her kicky new dress from Goodwill!
We play Harry Potter where my daughter is Hermione Granger and reads junk mail, pretending it is mail she just received from an owl at Hogwarts.
We have a photo session with Mom where a certain kid starts cracking himself up by being as wiggly as he possibly can, which then infects his sister with the same silliness and a powerful fit of giggles. And then, all of sudden, the world is slipping off its axis!!! The world is tilting!! We. Can't. Hold. On!!!! Aaaaaghhhhh!!
Originally, We Don't Buy It was about my family's life experiment of not buying new things for a year in 2008. We mostly did it and learned a lot about our relationship to things. Now, this blog is more about the ideas we don't buy. Oh, so many awful ideas and pressures out there. We're rejecting a lot of them--ideas that keep people boxed in, and stuck. We're going our own way. We still don't buy it.
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