Bad to the Bone, Again...

We love our little Scion.  It has loads of leg room for the kids.  It has a seat that feels like a seat and not a semi-lounge chair, and has loads of head room for me with my tall torso.  It works for our little family.

We now have a replacement car, as our car is being repaired after what we thought was a minor fender bender.  Turns out, though, that we'll have the loaner car for a few days.

We're driving around in this now.

The kids are digging it and asked us if we could buy it.  They asked in all sincerity and without any irony or humor.  I feel so ridiculous in this thing.  It's fun.

I might have to find a creek with the bridge out so I can take the kids sailing over it screaming, "Yee haw!!" at the top of our lungs.

Yes, I do remember the Dukes of Hazzard fondly.  Why do you ask?

The Sky

My husband had a wonderful class in college called The Sky which explored naked eye observations of the sky and its machinations. Guess who now knows what a waxing gibbous moon is--yes, that's right, my kids! My husband has been relaying all sorts of sky information to the kids with very clear explanations and drawings on our fabulous giant dry erase board that my husband snagged from work when they were throwing it out.

Actually, we've both been showing the kids all sorts of things now that the board is hanging on the kitchen wall. The kids are also drawing various things up there and it has dramatically changed how we homeschool around here. Who knew such a simple thing could have such a huge effect? And yet, sometimes the right tools make a difference in whatever you're doing. It's there and everyone in this house is now drawn to it.


Last night, my son was looking at the sky with my husband through binoculars and they both saw all sorts of features on the moon. To the east was Jupiter, and then east of that was Uranus. My son is 12... Yes, there are certain jokes that seem to always come up with regard to that particular planet, but we didn't care. He was seeing our universe and understanding it a little bit more.

Today, I saw a story on Huffington Post about a dad and his son who sent a weather balloon into space with an insulated, protective foam wrap around a video recorder and made a film of the balloon ascending 20 miles up into the sky. Inside the foam was an i-phone which acted as a GPS so that they could then retrieve it once the balloon popped and the parachute allowed it to come safely back to earth.

Amazing and fun!

When's the last time you looked up at the sky with wonder and curiosity and interest? You should look up. It's awesome up there! And, if you're 12, it can inspire some hilarity. If you know what I mean...

Bad to the Bone or Another Day of Running Errands

We had to go get the car's emissions tested yesterday. Illinois law mandates it every so often for all cars, although it would probably be more efficient and effective if the testing was saved for older cars alone. But, we went.

My daughter assured me that she was fine dressed in her 1880s prairie dress which she uses to pretend she is Mary or Laura or an unknown pioneer girl out on the prairie trying to make her way breaking up sod and battling grasshoppers. She was going to be fine in her red calico with white overdress and didn't need to change before hand. Besides, we could all stay in the car so it wouldn't matter any way!

Yeah, except when we got there we saw that everyone had to get out of their cars and go to a little room while the car was tested. Uh oh... I reassured my daughter that she could still get away with going around town in dress up clothes, depending on the clothes, and it would be OK.

My son meanwhile was cracking up and thought the imminent embarrassment of his sister was hilarious. My daughter actually laughed too and took it in stride.

Turns out we didn't have to get out of the car. Instead, the creepy worker guy let me get out and sit in back while he sat in the driver's seat and conducted the test. He went on to insult the quality of our car and then said weird rambling things that we all couldn't quite make out.

I asked the kids what they thought of him as we left and they told me he was creepy. My daughter described him as having milky blue eyes (descriptive!). My son asked what was wrong with him which led to a lengthy discussion about creepiness, instincts and feelings about people, social awkwardness vs. malicious intent, not being afraid to hurt feelings or offend anyone to keep yourself safe, having the right to not get in an elevator or cross the street or stay with a crowd of people if someone makes you feel creeped out. I told my kids to trust their feelings and instincts.

We talked about why someone might be socially awkward. Why someone might not like people. And then my son fished out my husband's aviator sunglasses from the compartment in the dashboard and put them on.

My son as he looked in the mirror in the sun visor said, "Hey! I look really cool in these! I look like a BUG!! These are so cool."

Some time later after more self-admiring and tilting his head this way and that, he said, "I look like a bug--AND THAT'S AWESOME!!"

A teen sitting in the passenger seat of an oncoming car caught sight of my son and dropped his mouth open and stared as his head pivoted to get more of a view. My son thought this was hilarious and so did my daughter and I and we all laughed and laughed.

Who says running errands can't be fun?

Busy

I have a friend in our homeschooling group who has counted up all of her kids' outside commitments for the week and it totalled 19! That's classes and swim practice etc. for three kids. Some of the kids are in the same classes or have lessons at the same time, but it still means making sure they have all of their stuff and organizing the household around a crazy schedule.

My kids are taking a variety of classes and lessons: flamenco, castanets, tap, jazz/hip hop, modern dance classes and drumming, horseback and gymnastics. They each have 5 outside commitments, and this time they're skipping the community theater play after being in three productions basically back-to-back.

Add to all of this, playdates, group park day, and doing things around the house and we're fairly busy.

So, are you busy too? What do you have going on, and are you ready to pull your hair out yet??

Oo, La, La!

Every once in a while, I see how my family and I fall into a rut. Either we're doing the same things over and over, or we are creating and then grooving bad habits.

I am an addict.

I LOVE reading, and lately I love reading various sites online. I post every once in a while to Facebook. I leave comments on others' blogs. I read Huffington Post and Daily Kos, and then read the links where the writers got their information. It adds up to a ton of reading, some writing, here, and on the other blogs. In short, it's a huge time stealer.

My kids, meanwhile, are watching fun TV shows, or on the computer as well (playing games), or watching a Netflix pick. They also read and do other things of course, but I was appalled the other day when I realized the total of our screen time around here. It's ridiculous.

It would be one thing if it had no negative impact. Some may argue that it doesn't. I think it does, and my kids know that it does. We are all grumpy when we've been sitting too long or when we've been in front of a screen. We are all happy when we've gotten outside and moved our bodies and talked with one another and done something or created things with our own hands.

So, limits have been set up for everyone. Everyone agreed to the limits. We started with me, because as I said to my kids, I'm the worst offender of all of us. By way of example, I told the kids how often I will get on the computer to read and to check e-mail, and then they followed suit.

What are we replacing all of this screen time with?

FRENCH! We are going to learn French, together the kids and I, and as my son proclaimed this morning, then go to France!

I think that's a fine trade off. And already the kids are more patient with each other, and generally more easy going.

I ordered some materials from Funbooks: some coloring book/dictionaries, a larger 100 word dictionary and a CD/card game set. This is all a nice beginning and we will see how far we can get on our own. Then, we will take a class somewhere.

The kids and I are serious about this and are determined to learn.

For those of you who have successfully learned a foreign language at home, did you use a more comprehensive system like Rosetta Stone or Mango or Muzzy? What worked, what didn't? Are these systems worth the cost?

Oo, la, la!

Bringing You up to Date

The homeschooling conference last weekend was a smashing success. There were only a couple of glitches, but on the whole, I think everyone had a good time. I know my family did.

The presenters who held workshops for me all were well liked--they did a great job. I've thanked them and they all let me know that they want to return next year, because it was a good experience for them too. So, despite the two presenters dropping out and leaving us high and dry and needing to fill ten workshops at the last minute, everyone and everything else worked out.

Today, my son came screaming up to me where I was still snuggling in bed with my daughter (the kids come in the moment they wake up in the early morning and come for a snuggle and talk in our bed). He had been in the downstairs bathroom and the toilet was overflowing. You know, overflowing like how you see in movies where it seems improbable that anything could behave like that in real life, and yet, sometimes art imitates life.

My son was both panicked and laughing as he ran to me which made me alternately skeptical about his veracity and then mad as I realized he was laughing in the midst of a crisis! Don't laugh in a crisis situation--keep your cool!! KEEP YOUR COOL!!! Calm reaction on my part, eh?

There was at least an inch of standing water on the bathroom floor, when I got there. It was starting to just seep into the adjacent laundry room and was being wicked into the family room carpet outside of the bathroom door.

I rolled up my pant legs, ran into the bathroom, and tried to see the shut off valve under the toilet. Find it--find it!! I found it and gave it a good hard turn where it crumbled in my hands. WTF!!!! It worked though, before it crumbled.

The kids ran and got me towels and old cloth diapers and I soaked up the water and washed towels and mopped the bathroom floor. That bathroom is now out of order--no one allowed in.

(May I interrupt here? Attention young mothers of cloth diapered babies:

Don't ever throw out your diapers. They will be invaluable rags for many, many years to come. Save them and use them. Yet another reason to cloth diaper...)

Here's an image of how the water looked flooding the bathroom floor--yes, it really was this bad...

I called my industrial designer husband who was disgusted that the one time in however many years we have needed to use the toilet shut off valve, it almost didn't work and is now broken. Which brings me to health care reform.

My husband when he was my fiancee, filled with the promise of our future life together, was having a tightening of the chest, a racing of the heart, a breathlessness, an overwhelming feeling of panic. My God--what could be wrong?!

He had never gone to the doctor. He spent a decade not making a claim. The insurance people lost no money with him.

We rushed ourselves over to a hospital emergency room, without getting the OK of his HMO people first, and had him checked out. Turns out there was no real health issue, but we didn't know that at the time. We didn't know he was not having a heart attack, we just knew there was something wrong.

The next week, he had a stress test. Fine--nothing wrong. I started to put it all together... Might my fiancee be freaking out about our upcoming wedding? Might he be physcially manifesting all of his anxiousness in his typical male way instead of connecting with someone and talking about it?

Yes. Yes, he was.

No, I am not offended that my husband thought he might be dying when he was about to marry me... Why do you ask?

Getting married is a big deal. It is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. Having heart attack symptoms before the nuptials might make you think long and hard about the direction your life is taking. It might make you be sure of what you're doing. Or, you don't connect any of that and are unaware of the mind/body connection and think you are having heart problems just as the mainstream doctor thought.

HELLO! We're getting married in two weeks--do you think my fiancee is freaking out about it? Could that cause his symptoms? Why do doctors not ask questions about your life? Why do they not ask about your lifestyle--what you eat, drink, how you exercise, or don't? Why do they not ask what's happening to you as an individual? This doctor didn't.

Any way, when we got back from our honeymoon we were bombarded with bills from the hospital. MY HUSBAND'S INSURANCE COMPANY WAS NOT COVERING THE INITIAL EMERGENCY HOSPITAL VISIT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T GET A REFERRAL TO GO FROM THEM AND IT TURNED OUT THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE A HEART CONDITION. HE WAS NOT HAVING A HEART ATTACK, ALTHOUGH WE THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE, AND SO THEREFORE THEY WOULDN'T COVER IT AFTER THE FACT!!!!

No. That was ridiculous and wouldn't stand.

I called them and berated them for having the audacity to not cover any kind of claim my husband might have made after not EVER going to the doctor for a decade. I told them that we didn't know he was not having a heart attack and that it was absurd for them to ever expect people to call for permission to go get help when they thought their lives were in danger. I told them that we would not pay any of those bills, that they had better, and that it was arrogant and nasty of them to even think not to cover my husband.

The insurance person put me on hold for a couple of minutes, talked with a supervisor and then got back on to tell me that I was right. No, we would not be responsible for any of those bills.

Damn straight we won't.

Others are not as lucky as I was in that phone call. They get stuck with bills that they shouldn't get stuck with. They get turned away. They get stiffed. They can't go to a certain doctor because he/she is not in their pool. Health care in this country has been messed up for a long time. Now, things are turning. It's about time.

Today I am 44/Random Stuff

It's my birthday today--I'm 44. Which means that the kids made me homemade cards yesterday with my husband's prompting, hid them in their rooms, and when they woke up this morning, they got them and gave them to me in bed. It was very, very sweet.

It also means that I had to go and get my drivers license renewed as it expired on this day--why did I not do it last week, or the week before that, or before that?! I'll tell you--because that's not how I roll.

I wait.

I procrastinate.

I stall, and push aside and forget until I can't any more.

Oh, and I'm none too pleased with Obama either (yes a non sequitur...) Where's the Change?! Did we close Gitmo yet? Not only are we not out of Iraq yet, we're increasing our military presence in Afghanistan. Because Russia was so successful there and we can turn to their experience as an example, right? Why are Monsanto people in any kind of position in the government--can you say fox guarding the hen house?

I want a fierce proponent for all of the liberal stuff I believe in and thought we had that with Obama. I'm hoping he has some sort of secret hidden long term plan that will all come right in the end. But for right now I'm worried.

We have rats, but not the invading, uninvited kind. We purposely went and got them as pets. Not ones from the pet store as we learned from all of our google research they would not have been properly socialized. No. I had to find ratterys in the Northern Illinois area and find ones that had babies. Ones that had female babies (the males mark a lot and get really big--we didn't want that.)

I finally found a rat breeder--and can I just say here that I didn't realize there was such a thing as a rat breeder or that they breed Fancy Rats. I love sub cultures. There's so much in the world--I will never be bored. We went almost to the Wisconsin border and bought our rats, a giant cage, a running wheel and brought them home.

My kids are ecstatic. It turns out that a fancy goldfish doesn't really elicit any kind of affection or feelings of fun from my children. After my daughter's ancient calico goldfish died, the kids started lobbying for some sort of mammal. Our 24 year old cat won't tolerate another cat or a dog, and I don't blame her. The search was on then for a small caged mammal.

My son told me that he had heard that rats make good pets. Yeah, OK. But they're creepy, and while I know that the plague wasn't their fault but that of their flea passengers, still, they were involved. Plus, there's that hairless tail. Ugh. *shudder*

I googled, "which is a better pet a rat or a mouse?" The result was dramatic and almost completely one sided. The rat won. It is smart, trainable, affectionate and unlike mice, hamsters and gerbils doesn't bite. What?! Who knew? It will come when called, and can learn tricks. It doesn't smell and is social, so needs companions.

We got four rats.

I am a sucker.

My kids are all the more happy for it.

What's new with you cyber people? Tell me the good news!

And lastly, Team Conan.

Long Time No Post

Hello cyber friends! Hello internet folks! Hello pixel readers! How are you?

I said I wasn't going to post here much because of the homeschooling conference work I'm doing. It is now ramping up with database entry and hounding workshop presenters to return contracts and working out all of the details. And, you know what? I really, really hate that kind of work. I do! There is no joy in this. It's not exciting figuring out what workshops there could be for the kids at the conference. It just feels like a lot of work and responsibility and pressure.

I do not like that. Plus, I can't procrastinate like I would like--there's a deadline! I can't really wait until the last minute to have someone just sort of wing it. No. This is a well thought out, well planned, well executed endeavor that I somehow am involved in. Yikes...

Have we been buying new things while I've been away from the blog? Sort of a mice will play while the cat's away thing? Me, not accountable to you compact watchers? NO! HA! We have not bought new things--well, not much any way.

My daughter said she would like new clothes. Not the nice ones I'm able to find her from Goodwill or The Salvation Army, but honest to goodness, brand new, fresh from the giant container shipped over from China clothes from Target. So, you know what I did? I got her some nice, cute clothes from Target and she was happy. Also, although I was able to avoid it for many years, I got her some American Doll stuff for her birthday. She already had a hand-me-down doll from one of her cousins and she wanted some outfits for her.

Here is my thinking. The Compact was all my idea. The kids willingly agreed to it two years ago at the tender ages of 9 and 7. They have been very thoughtful and understanding about things and wanting things and the value of things and the need vs. want of things. So, when they've really wanted something, I have seen how they value it and have gotten it for them.

We're not going for monastic here. We're going for relevance and self control and to try and avoid choices that are dictated by popular culture or peer pressure.

My kids still (still!!) have fun with a cardboard box. They have fun with sticks in the yard. They have fun with leaves and bugs and tape and yarn and cool new clothes from American Girl for my daughter's doll.

You know what else? If my daughter wants to play with dolls at the age of 9, I'm going to support that for as long as it lasts. If my son is happy making faces and noises and playing tag and hide-and-go-seek at the age of 11, I'm going to also support that for as long as it lasts. These are my little kids who are behaving like little kids.

Yes, they have occasionally mentioned other things. My daughter, out of the blue and with all seriousness and some contempt, asked my why couldn't she have an i-pod?! Hmm? Why?! (Her 12 year old friend had just gotten one). My son has asked when both kids will get a cell phone... Um, that would probably be a "never" from me, but who knows what the future holds? My husband doesn't even have one. Partly it's because he doesn't need one, and party it's because that would presuppose that he would want to talk to people more, and on the phone.

My husband once pointed out to me the silliness and ridiculousness of my sister and I talking on the phone when we were only one room away from each other at a hotel. It didn't seem silly at the time. My son has also jumped on the point-out-ludicrous-things-when-you-see-them band wagon. He asked me why I gesture wildly with my hands when I'm on the phone...

What's your point son?! And, what's it to ya?!

We also bought a new car! Whoooo! A new, used car that is. It's only three years old and has four doors--decadent! Our old car was fourteen years old, had two doors and was on its last legs. We held out and didn't make any little repairs on it because we didn't want to put any more money into it knowing that we would soon buy another car. So:

• The horn was broken (the fuse not replaced, I should say)
• The cloth ceiling liner shredded and my husband just took it out so we had a metal ceiling
• The air conditioner was out
• The emergency brake didn't work--how often does that come up, really?
• The driver side door handle had come off and the only way to open it was by lifting one of the two nubs (automatic theft deterrence)
• The driver seat was ripping
• My tall 5' 10" body could barely fold into the passenger seat and I was unbelievably cramped and uncomfortable for long rides

Our new car has four doors! Great gas mileage (30, 34)! Room to easily hold a canoe on top! Air conditioning! Is only three years old and will accommodate our growing kids and a friend in the back.

We got a Scion xb. Aren't we cool? We are so inherently cool that we can drive a boxy, unstylish car with impunity.

Here is our cool car, 'cause that's how we roll.

Yeah, that's right. So cool, it's exponential cool and the sum is greater than the parts. It all adds up.

Enjoy your weekend and enjoy your ride, whatever that might be!

Great America Homeschooling Day

My kids don't "go back to school" because we homeschool. We don't have a start to the year and just keep doing what we do all year round. We do however have a homeschooling day at Great America while other kids are at school and it is still nice out. Great America gets a whole lot of cash that they wouldn't otherwise and the homeschooling attendees get a whole lot of rides because there are no lines! It is shocking how short the wait is for the rides. Some rides had no wait at all and because of it the kids were allowed to go again without even getting out of the car.

We ran into some friends and the kids went on some of the rides with them. We also peeled away to do our own thing sometimes. All total my kids went on rides 17 times. They went on roller coasters, water rafts and spinning cups called the Fiddlers Fling. They dropped from towers, were flung upside down, spun sideways and defied gravity in other interesting, dizzying ways.

I only went on the water raft because I am lame. I am not ashamed to admit that and readily accept how it mirrors my own mother's behavior from my childhood. "We mock the things we are to be!"

My husband went on almost all of the rides with the kids. They all loved it and no one got sick.

While they rode, I sat on a wooden bench in the pleasant shade and read a book and enjoyed all of the other homeschooling kids walking with their friends and their parents and siblings going from ride to ride.

How is it that I am now exhausted?

Things Only a Republican Could Believe

I know not all Republicans believe these contradictory things. I do know this. There are plenty of Republicans who simply want less government interference in the daily life of Americans and want lower taxes. Really, I do know this. I don't think of all Republicans when I read the following list... However, I know there are plenty of Republicans who do believe these contradictory things and who paint our public life in broad strokes and don't see any dissonance in their reasoning.

So with that said, here we go:

Things Only a Republican Could Believe:

• Parents who don't want their children to pray in school are Anti-American zealots -- parents who don't want their children to listen to a speech by the President of the United States telling them to work hard and get good grades are noble patriots.

• Peacefully demonstrating against the country starting an international war is treason -- showing up with automatic weapons to protest healthcare reform is democracy at its finest.

• Any government official with a desk job should have every action scrutinized -- any government official with a badge and a gun should never be questioned or disrespected. At all. Ever.

• Questioning the legitimacy of an election because the "winner" was selected by the Supreme Court is sour grapes -- questioning the legitimacy of an election because the winner (by the largest number of votes in American history) is really a Kenyan born Muslim despite all evidence to the contrary is being a vigilant American.

• Lying about a blowjob is an impeachable offense -- lying about a war is no big deal, really.

• Investigating a shady land deal involving the First Lady is a matter of National Identity -- investigating the use of torture at the direction of the Executive Branch is a partisan witch hunt.

• Executing Japanese officers for waterboarding prisoners during WWII shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights -- waterboarding prisoners of our own shows that we have the moral high-ground on human rights.

• Sitting two rows in front of Jane Fonda in a 1970 anti-war rally is an OUTRAGE! Shaking Saddam's hand in 1983...meh, not so much.

• Anyone who questions the president during a time of war is giving aide and comfort to the enemy and should be deported...unless the president in question has a (D) next to their name in which case you should undermine them at every turn even if you have to routinely make shit up to do it.

• Socialism, Marxism, Communism and Fascism are all interchangeable words that mean pretty much the same thing.

• Anyone who abuses drugs should be locked up indefinitely...unless they are a popular Republican radio host in which case they need your prayers as they recover from the illness of addiction.

• Health Insurance companies have your best interests in mind and anyone who thinks otherwise is trying to turn America into the Godless heathen nation of Sweden where EVERYONE in the country dies (eventually).

• Obama is an atheist communist muslim who attended a radical christian church.

• Believing that human activity could impact the global environment is crazy talk -- believing that an invisible man in the sky personally told George Bush to invade Iraq to fulfill Biblical prophecy is logically sound.

• The verdict is still out on evolution -- but Jesus Christ returning in our lifetimes is pretty much a given.

• The media are unquestionably biased against Republicans -- Talk Radio, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, The Wall Street Journal, Rightwing Blogs, Fox News and NewsCorp are not part of the media.

• The government should have no part in regulating multi-national corporations as they make decisions that impact the lives of millions of people -- government should regulate individuals by determining who they can marry, what kind of intercourse they can have, what they can smoke, how to manage their pregnancy and how to proceed with end of life decisions.

• Communicating with hostile nations is a stab in the back to our great nation -- Reagan communicating with the USSR during the Cold War was Political Genius.

• Iran is a mortal threat to our nation and anyone who attempts to talk to them is traitorous scum -- selling weapons to Iran and then funneling the money to start wars in South America is clearly in our National interest.

• George Bush kept the nation safe after 9-11 (NOTE: the Anthrax attacks, the DC Sniper and Hurricane Katrina don't count. Also, the fact that 9-11 happened on his watch despite receiving a security briefing specifically warning of the attack doesn't count either.)

• Social Security, Meidcare, public schooling, public libraries, fire departments, police departments and the US Military are as American as Apple Pie -- universal healthcare is ZOMGDEATHPANELSOCIALISM!!

• George W Bush is a regular 'ole Texas rancher just like you and me despite the fact that he was born in Connecticut, attended two Ivy League schools, bought the Crawford ranch just before running for president, sold it immediately after leaving office and is terrified of horses.

• The two guys at the center of the Watergate and Iran-Contra scandals are trustworthy voices in discussions of current national policy and should be taken at face-value.

  
  

  (I did not write this but found it on numerous sites. I didn't see who the author is or I would give him/her credit. It is good isn't it?)

Que Sera, Sera

I didn't like reading The Hobbit. I know that is sacrilege for lots of people. And, how is it even possible?! What's not to like in the twisting, turning plot of tiny Bilbo Baggins and his little Dwarf compatriots as they come under attack from goblins, spiders etc? It's high adventure I tell you--how can I not like it?!

Yeah, except I don't.

I liked reading about Julia Child's time in France in her book coincidentally titled, My Life in France. My mom knew I would like the book she gave me because we had spent many a half hour watching The French Chef together during the 70's. From a very young age I knew how to flute a mushroom (although I can't do it very well), how to take a giant mallet and break up bones (although I haven't done this either... but, I could if I had to--that's how clear Julia's instruction was on her TV show), and had a basic understanding of what wine to pair with a cassoulet or a lobster bisque.

I'm currently reading Bill Bryson's hilarious book, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail. His writing is soooo good. Read this excerpt where his son warned him off of embarrassing him when purchasing backpacking equipment for his upcoming trail hike:

My first inkling of just how daunting an undertaking it was to be came when I went to our local outfitters, the Dartmouth Co-Op, to purchase equipment. My son had just gotten an after-school job there, so I was under strict instructions of good behavior. Specifically, I was not to say or do anything stupid, try on anything that would require me to expose my stomach, say, "Are you shitting me?" when informed of the price of a product, be conspicuously inattentive when a sales assistant was explaining the correct maintenance or aftercare of a product, and above all don anything inappropriate, like a woman's ski hat, in an attempt to amuse.

Oh my God. I can reread that passage over and over again and still have tears streaming out of the corners of my eyes it is that funny to me. Simply hilarious, and I hope I have the good grace to recognize the humor in my own life when my children are teenagers and are filled with not a little contempt for how queer my husband and I are to them. 'Cause it's going to happen on some level somehow. The whole homeschooling we-are-such-an-intimate-family-so-close-knit lifestyle that we have will not preclude our kids from seeing us as fools from time to time, I'm sure of it.

These are the books I read and thoroughly enjoy. I do see, however, how someone could like The Hobbit. I get that. And I think it's great that my own son has recently discovered it and is devouring it as I would have devoured fluted mushrooms with my mother if I could have held the paring knife correctly.

He loves it. He finds it compelling and exciting and thrilling. What more could one want from a book? He really doesn't understand how I could not like it. It's a mystery and will probably contribute to some bit of contempt in his teenage years.

Oh well. Que sera, sera.

Poppies!

My daughter planted seeds back in the spring. In our living room, we had a table top full of seedlings in egg cartons and black plastic trays. The seedlings were full of hope and energy--so earnest. Snow was still on the ground, but inside our house they were pushing their way up through the loose soil and leaning into the light.

And from these hairy, drooping looking plants came...

Poppies!

Poppies and more poppies!

Aren't they beautiful? Nice job daughter. Thanks for growing these and tending them and planting some of them into pots near your shed/wood shack/playhouse doorway--pretty!

Random Thoughts...

Here are some thoughts I've had over the last week or so. No real link between them all except that some might recognize a bit of absurdity--and who doesn't love the absurd?

• President Barack Hussein Obama is a United States citizen. No--he really is. Perhaps some of the frenetic, hysterical energy questioning his citizenship is a wee bit misplaced and could serve people in a more positive way. Maybe a protest against mountain top removal, strip mining, injustices around the world. I don't know, get creative.
• Three single servings of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (two cones and a sundae) at Great America really shouldn't cost $19.78. The ice cream guy's smile, as I looked shocked, told me that he commiserates but what's one to do?
• I have all of my Mel's Mix material sitting in the garage--just when do I think I will actually put in a garden? Perhaps at the end of the season, just to be contrary...
• Honey not only helps heal skin lacerations received from a nasty collision with a fire hydrant, but a little dab will heal zits too! Not that my skin is ever anything less than perfect, I'm just saying that I've heard this...
• I want my dryer fixed so even on rainy days and when it's cold out, I can wash our sheets and towels. I think it's allowed, even on The Compact. Husband, do you hear?!
• Are we really using more water by hand washing rather than using our dishwasher, which is also broken? This is what I've heard, but I don't quite believe it. Maybe we have to get that fixed too.
• For our 12th anniversary, my husband and I gave each other a high five. Consummate romantics aren't we? Neither one of us made time to get a card or a gift. It's OK. We love each other and know it.
• Laura Ling and Euna Lee are free which is amazing! But, what of the women they were trying to investigate? North Korean women are lured out to China for a better life and then are captured by traffickers and used both for sexual exploitation and forced labor. Does this story ever get covered now? You know, I'm really sick of the world mistreating women, kids, minorities, certain ethnic groups and so on.

What's new with you, cyber people? What are some of your random thoughts? Please share if so inclined.

Your cyber pal,

Laura

Fire!! Or, What do You Kids Think You're Doing?!

The other day, we met some friends at our local pool. It is so fantastic--right down the street from us--and the kids love going there with their friends or just with us the family. They don't care--being at the pool under any circumstances is just great.

Our friends left a little bit earlier than we did, so I enjoyed my own space on a chaise lounge as my kids continued to play that they were swimming in the ocean, evading giant octopuses or whatever they were doing that cracked them up. I'm really glad that they enjoy each other the way they do. In between the frustrating times they have with each other, there is some genuine camaraderie and admiration for one another. They're buds.

I saw that it was just about time to wrap things up so I gave a 5 minute warning, heads up, and went to gather our towels and bag and other going-to-the-pool detritus from near the fence where I had left it in the grass.

I saw four older boys, they were maybe 13 or so, kicking at the chain link fence about two feet up from the ground. They were near where I was headed and I think they thought I was coming over to them, because they seemed a little bit nervous looking over their shoulders as I approached. When I was fairly close, some of them sort of ran behind me, away, and I saw that the fence was on fire... What?!

An 18 inch by 6 inch fire was melting the coating on the metal fence and was feeding the flames that the kids had been trying to kick out. I could see even then that it was dying down--it wasn't going to progress.

I told the boys what I thought, "Oh! That is SO uncool!" A last stricken boy, looking me in the eye as his other friends had run away behind me, and so therefore is the bravest in my estimation, seemed paralyzed as I spoke.

Me: What did you use to light that?!

Stricken, panicked boy: Why?

Me, livid: Why?! WHY?! NO. What did you use to light that?!

Scared-out-of-his-mind-boy: A lighter. I won't do it again!

Me: You DON'T light fires! You just don't!!

I gathered up my things and went to a lifeguard to let them know that their fence was on fire and that those boys did it. She saw and went over to them. As she did, I pointed it all out to my kids who were bundling up in their towels and I quickly explained what a bad choice the kids had made and that they were foolish to play with a lighter like that. You don't light fires!

My kids were horrified. "They'll be in such trouble with their parents!" "What were they thinking?!"

I don't think the parents will ever know. I think the lifeguard, who was only slightly older than the pyro-boys, gave them a good talking to, but I don't think she took their pool passes or anything. The boys left as we were leaving and all avoided eye contact with me.

I know these boys were bored out of their minds. They were also all hyped up on each other's testosterone squirting out in between all of the acne and hearing each other's cracking voices. It's hard to manage all of that energy in ways that don't get you in trouble.

Still--YOU DON'T LIGHT FIRES AT THE COMMUNITY POOL!!

I felt a little like Barney Fife; kind of indignant and silly at the same time. "Not on my beat you kids! Oh no! You're not going to get away with it!" I also felt it was important for my kids to see that if you make bad choices, if you don't even think of the consequences something bad happens--always. And really, how'd that conversation go? Hey, let's take this lighter and light the fence on fire, in broad daylight, surrounded by little kids, parents and lifeguards! Yeah! That's a perfect idea! Totally doable--let's!! *high fives or terrorist fist jabs all around*

I know my kids are going to make all sorts of stupid choices too. I did...

As we were walking down the street home, I wanted to impress upon them that just because you get a wicked, cool, outrageous idea, like lighting the community pool fence on fire, that does NOT mean that you have to act on it!

Lesson learned... for now. *crosses fingers as I imagine the hormone onslaught/brain shut off to come in my kids*

Because We Have Charisma...

My sister and brother-in-law are coming over today for a rousing, lengthy game of D-n-D... or is that D & D?... Dungeons and Dragons.

It's a game I never played as a kid when it came out in the 80's because I was too busy being mad at Ronald Reagan and staring at my not-model-shaped nose in the mirror for hours at a time.

It's hard being a teenager, isn't it?

My kids have the basic idea from my husband who did play the game in the 80's. He didn't care what Reagan did and he didn't obsess about his body and different features on his face. He just went along wearing his army jacket and pretending he was a half-elf/fighter/thief/cleric/magic user who always carried the bag of holding. (It has more space on the interior than you would suppose... kind of nifty for taking stuff that doesn't belong to you, or for carrying rope and grappling hooks, 'cause you never know.)

I'm making all sorts of finger food. So, today will be a time of eating and pretending--two great past-times, I think.

Do you have charisma? Oh yeah? How much...

My Kids Right Now... Marching Cadence

Inspired by my son's book, The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead by Max Brooks, my two kids are marching in unison (nice formation) through the house chanting at the top of their lungs, "I don't know but I've been told: zombies smell like stinky mold!!"

I warned the kids that that might be a very provocative thing to yell around zombies and they informed me that they can't be insulted. My son said, "It's like insulting an insect--they won't notice. They don't think like that."

Oh. Well, all right then--carry on.

We might find something more productive to do today, but it will probably not be nearly this fun.

The Fourth

The Fourth

by Shel Silverstein

Oh

CRASH!

my

BASH!

it's

BANG!

the

ZANG!

Fourth

WHOOSH!

of

BAROOM!

July

WHEW!

Happy 4th of July everyone! Enjoy your freedom. Enjoy your families. Enjoy the loud fireworks and the corn on the cob and the grilled something or other.

Hold on tight, as you spin too fast on the tilt-a-whirl. Try not to hear the tinkling sound of nuts and bolts being jerkily shimmied out of rides at the carnival... Some of those are redundant any way. It's fine!

Hey, are we ever leaving Iraq? What do you think?

Because of the nuclear threat, must we really recognize the corrupt Ahmadinejad in Iran and continue to speak to him, thereby legitimizing his fraudulent election victory?

Life is complicated.

Let's just have fun today and enjoy our kids marching in parades, or watching parades and enjoy the summer fun of the 4th.

Happy 4th everyone!

I am Impressed With My Kids

Yesterday, my son complained that he felt a little pressure behind his cheeks and nose. Maybe he had a bit of a sinus infection?

I told him about our neti pot and explained how dad uses it and I use it and why and when.

So, he thought he would like to try it too.

"Really?", I thought. "He's going to fill a pot with warm water and a generous pinch of salt and tilt his head over the sink and pour it in one nostril and then let it drain out the other? Really?" OK...

I set it up for him and reminded him to breathe through his mouth and that it would feel like when you get water up your nose at the pool, but he would not choke--it would be OK.

I had him watch me as I filled the neti pot with the warm water and the generous pinch of salt and then poured the water into one of my nostrils and then the other.

OK. His turn.

I filled it up again, and then he poured it into one nostril and didn't like it much, but tried it on the other nostril as well.

Not much got in, but he did do it and was OK and didn't sputter.

Today, he reports that he feels less pressure and maybe the neti pot helped.

Hurray for alternative methods that work that my kids are brave enough to try!

Ants Begone! Diatomaceous Earth...

We have ants! As my kids sit here and watch Born Free, I realize that I want all of us in Nature to live in harmony and to truly be free. But, that unfortunately doesn't really apply to uninvited guests like big, black, fast, scuttling ants in my kitchen. Sorry, but it doesn't.

They arrived a few days ago and seem to have settled in, establishing all sorts of scented paths so their buddies can find their way and also move in and have a party in my cupboards and across my floor.

(Pictured above, an ant in Mexico--beautiful and not in my kitchen...)

My husband and I stomp on them when we're in the kitchen, which is not really an organized form of pest control, but it is effective for the ones under our heels. My son hates this.

He earnestly questions whether we think that the ants know that they're in our house and if they mean to bother us. It's all about intent for him. And, I do see the justice in that. It's not their fault and I wish them no harm, in principle. If they could just go away, I would be fine with that. But, since my son is right--they don't know that they're in our house, they won't feel the territorial pressure and go away from our turf. If I could mark our territory to make them back off I would. But the only scents I have are old perfume that I no longer wear, and lovely essential oils-- lavender, tangerine, clove, tea tree, eucalyptus-- that I use medicinally. That won't work.

I have, however, found something that seems to be working. I have liberally sprinkled Diatomaceous Earth all around our kitchen baseboards. Diatomaceous Earth is a powder comprised of ground up fossilized sea creatures. It feels like flour to the touch, but is quite abrasive and when pests walk through it or have it sprinkled on them, it cuts their skin or exoskeleton. After that, they succumb to extreme dehydration and die.

Sounds awful doesn't it?

Besides being effective, which is apparent today in my relatively ant--free kitchen, it is completely safe and non toxic. You don't want to breathe it in as you sprinkle it, as it can irritate, but other than that it is harmless unless you are measured in millimeters and then it is biological warfare.

In 3, 2, 1...

Blast off!

My son has been waiting to shoot off this rocket since he got it as a gift at Christmas. On Saturday morning, we went to a big, nearby park.

I give you, my son, the rocket scientist.

My son and his assistant setting up the gear.

Hooking up the battery...

Ready to go. Note the homemade launch pad.

Quickly getting out of the way...

Ready to make contact... in three, two, one...

BLAST OFF!

(Look at the faces--Who is the kid in that picture? It's a tie.)

Trying to spot it in the sky...

Spotted it! Filming and running at the same time...

It's coming down...

There it is!

It landed!

Let's do it again!

No damage. My son just needs to repack the parachute.

Ready to go again...

In three, two, one... BLAST OFF!

Blasted...