Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Again, Why There are Two Parents...


My husband and I bring different things to the parenting table. Some of that is just because of who we are--our different abilities, sensibilities and approach to our kids. Some of it is because of gender differences (yes, I said that...) But, some of those gender differences are there because of how we ourselves were parented, and the time we came from. (I must share here that my parents were pretty good about raising us to realize whatever we wanted to do regardless of gender. I portaged canoes, my brother made lasagna, etc.)

My husband will build an 8 ft. trebuchet with my son in the summer. That would never in a million years occur to me to do. Never. However, I did build our kids' wooden swing set with my husband's guidance and help when he had carpal tunnel syndrome and could not do drilling and hammering... or so the story goes...

My husband would cut the pieces to length and then tell me how to put them together and hammer them or drill or sink or counter sink--220, 221 whatever it takes.

In any case, he and I built a pretty fine swing set for the kids. That particular project was also the first time I had ever handled a drill. I don't think that's so rare, but it seemed flagrantly ludicrous to my husband. My husband, who had once coached me on how to change my own damn tire and be my own knight in shining armor. You know why? Because, I could, that's why.

I think he feels that everyone should be able to do everything. Handling a drill is not just for men or boys. We are not crippled by past ideas--we can do what we want. We have brains and hands and our gender doesn't preclude us doing certain things.

My son helped my husband build our compost bin, and then my husband thought my daughter should help as well. He asked her if she'd like to, and she was wanting to help too. Take a look at these pictures of my daughter helping my husband build our compost bin.



Here she is drilling holes. Maybe not the best way to hold a drill, but she has control, so that's what counts.


At a slightly different position...


Putting some giddyap on it...


Eyeballing the position...


In total control...


I would never think to let my little girl handle a heavy drill. Never. My husband told her what to do and then stepped back, and worked on something else while she did it. He didn't hover. He just let her go.

I, on the other hand, saw the great photo opportunity and tore into the house to get my camera to take pictures of her from across the yard. I was impressed by her drilling ability and her fearlessness.

Do you need a picture hung? I've got two kids that can handle the job.

2 comments:

Susie said...

Your post made me remember all the project my Dad and I worked on. He's got some great carpenter skills and I still have some shelves that he helped me make. I love that your hubby stepped back and let her try things out!!

Laura said...

Thanks Susie. I hope my daughter and son both have those kind of happy memories that you have.

Thanks for visiting!

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