We sometimes get things new, like swimsuits from Target online for my daughter, because hers from the summer wore out and she'll need it if we go out of town to a motel with a pool. It happens. And, the underwear and socks that I recently bought my kids. We are far from perfect around here, but that's OK (right, Stuart?). In any case, we mostly don't buy it.
What if we want to buy it? What if YOU want to buy it? What if it speaks to you--that perfect shirt or piece of jewelry or book or i-pod/phone/pad thingy? What if you feel you can not live without it? Could you pause and review it? Maybe ask yourself a couple of questions:
Do I have to have this thing, if I already have a similar version of it, or one that's still good, or it's just too expensive, or I know I'll use it a couple of times, and then NOT need it? Do I really NEED it?
My kids NEED underwear and socks. I think it's OK to get those new, so I passed the Yes-I-Really-Do-Need-It-Quit-Badgering-Me! test when I asked myself these questions. If you need it, you need it. Really.
But, what if it's not need but want. You know you don't need it, you just want it. Yes, you already have several pairs like it, but this pair of black shoes has a buckle on the side of it, rather than the front. See? So, it's different. And, it is that very slight difference that is making you want it, not need it. What then?
I would still counsel you to think it through and wait it out and pause and breathe. What will you get if you purchase those kicky new shoes? Will it feed a deep need inside your hole-filled soul? Will it make you feel pretty ala Maria in West Side Story (although, it wasn't shoes that was doing that for her. It was her being lovestruck with Tony...) Besides which, do you think Tony even noticed Maria's shoes? Come on.
But you WANT them, still!!
Fine. Get them. Or, get it. Go ahead. DO IT!
But, next time, you could try to muster some will and resist the urge and forgo your very temporal, frivolous, hedonistic, self-indulgent whim and NOT get it/them. Maybe you would feel empowered by that. Maybe you would feel strong and in charge of yourself and more centered. Maybe it would be worth it to say no to yourself once and see how that feels and know that you can survive it and that you don't feel deprived. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THE URGE TO GET A NEW PAIR OF SHOES THAT YOU DON'T NEED!!
Yes, but they're cute/most recent technology/an upgrade, you counter.
Yeah. I know. Hence the dilemma.
Beautiful hand forged gold earrings from Sundance catalog that I don't NEED, but WANT, but haven't gotten yet...